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Marriage
No one said marriage was easy. In fact, long marriages, the “until death do us part,” ones, take actual work and commitment on the part of both husband and wife. By the grace and goodness of God, and with the desire to make marriage work at all cost, then the words dissatisfaction and divorce do not even have to be part of ones vocabulary, for there will always be a way to iron out the bumps on this winding road known as marriage. We meet and fall in love with Mr. or Mrs. Right, and during those first few years, there are fireworks, deep, heartfelt sighs, and the two of you feel like Romeo and Juliet reborn! For most couples, this honeymoon stage is exactly that. A stage. Before you know it, reality sets in; family, work, children and household obligations begin to hold a bit more importance once you realize the heating bills aren't getting paid while the two of you lull in bed and stare into each other's eyes all day. As do many married couples, one day you stop and think, wondering what happened to those two wild and crazy love birds you used to be! What happened to the passion, romance, and communication? Sadly, some couples, upon seeing this typical stage set before them, begin to perceive their marriage as dying, interpreting these signs as lack of love or interest, rather than understanding this is quite a common, even normal, occurrence. The question then remains; what are we going to do about it? Divorce? Consider an affair? Sulk and complain? Years of small neglects which have formed into current huge problems, can be, not only resolved, but healed and allowed to blossom into something beautiful! All that is required is the sheer desire by both husband and wife, to make it work by showing our very real commitment to our marriage vows. Do we really mean we will accept our spouse for better or worse, or is this just a cute phrase one says on the day of the wedding? “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” -Colossians 3:18-19 Our current Western culture tends to not teach how to be a good wife and husband. When we date, and during that initial honeymoon stage, we feel like boyfriend and girlfriend, but once we have had children, and begin to feel more comfortable with each other, many couples report they no longer perceive each other in the same way. The saucy girlfriend or boyfriend who chimed our bells before marriage, who clung to our every word and dotted on our every need, seems now more interested in work, hobby, child-rearing or something else other than me! The above scenario is no real indicator of true love, but is a sign of a spouse or joint couple who simply are not fully aware of how to keep the sizzle alive in their marriage. Why? Because, typically, passion and excitement is not something we ever had to work at. It came naturally. Now you understand why marriage is actual work!
If you feel your marriage is lacking romance, then work to bring it back into your marriage! Is communication lacking? Then work to bring it back! Yes, it will feel uncomfortable and forced to have to work at these things; creating romantic or intimate moments, but, like anything else in life, the more you do it, the more it will become second nature! If one listens closely to the major complaints in marriage, both husbands and wives most often complain of dissatisfaction with level of communication, intimacy, passion and romance. Un-addressed, these issues can fester into a cancerous wound, but carefully and lovingly mended by the act of surrendering, a whole new stage in marriage can be possible! “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” -I Corinthians 7:3
Marital surrender stems from godly surrender.
Dear friend,
What you just read is taken from my book, “Ecstatic Living/Ecstatic Loving: A marriage manual and life-guide.” If this topic interests you, please read on to find additional information about the book, including the table of contents. Click the "Buy My Books" link to the top left to order online, or walk in to any major bookstore to special order a copy! Ask for ISBN 1-4116-2350-9
A record number of people today are not satisfied with their lives. They want more zest and depth, and are often not certain how to obtain it. Divorce rates are sky-rocketing, and relationships are lacking the degree of intimacy and passion many people express they long for. While my book, “Ecstatic Living/Ecstatic Loving,” has a definite spiritual (Christian) flavor, I believe you will also find it’s applications practical and sound. I have gathered these wisdoms through studies of God’s word, a close-knit relationship with my heavenly Father since childhood, and life, in general, have all been great teachers. As a wife of twenty-two years, I know that even the most successful marriages have their highs and lows, and there may be periods where teens rebel, relatives cause friction, and friendships are challenged. What allows us to reign victorious, however, is our reliance on God. Just as faith is action, so too, in order for this book to be effective, it’s truths must be actively applied to your daily life. Likewise, these wisdom’s must not be kept to yourself, but once “Ecstatic Living/Ecstatic Loving” is read, it should also be shared with your spouse so you will be more inclined to follow a common course. It is this straight and narrow path that will allow broken relationships to be mended, failing or dull marriages to shine brilliant, and to possess a deeper level of understanding and life-purpose which will bring higher levels of peace and joy you ever thought possible!
Table Of Contents
Preface pg. 12
Chapter 1: Fighting God pg. 13
Many people sabotage their chance for a joyful existence by trying to do things their way as opposed to God‘s way. Just as we have natural laws, so too are there certain spiritual laws of cause and effect. Find out why we often fight God, and how we can return to a path which will lead us closer to a more fulfilling existence.
Chapter 2: Peace With The Past pg. 19
When we carry the emotional burdens of the past upon our backs we are then not fully free to reap the current and future joys which lay in store. The author shares about the pain of a past abortion, and how she used a lemon situation to make lemon-ade. Learn how you can be set free from the ghosts of your past, often utilizing them to your advantage.
Chapter 3: Godly Surrender pg. 28
If you can imagine how a woman surrenders in passion to the arms of her lover, then you already have an idea of how you can more so freely open your heart and life in to the tender embrace of the Divine. Learn how to passionately live for your Beloved, God.
Chapter 4: Freedom From Bondage pg. 31
Whether you have an addiction to food, sex, drugs, alcohol or a negative thought process, it is not God’s will for man to be held down by the chains of bondage. Break free once and for all.
Chapter 5: Home Is Your Haven pg. 42
Where your loved-ones reside is not merely a place to eat and sleep. Home is meant to be an oasis of physical and emotional delights; a retreat for mind, body and spirit. Explore new possibilities as aromatherapy, creating your own inspirational garden, grinding and brewing herbs for soothing tea, and for use in exotic dishes. Find out how to remove negative energies from your home, and to raise positive ones by cleaving to all things good and godly.
Chapter 6: Parent-Child Crisis pg. 50
Dealing with teens can be tough, but even a crisis situation can be dramatically improved with unconditional love, understanding, and strategic coping methods, so that despite the turmoil, enhanced peace can be yours.
Chapter 7: Healthy Relationships pg. 59
As does a gardener pluck the weeds from his garden so his plants may thrive, so too should we remove ourselves from negative energies so we can better reap the positive in life. Surround your life with flowers not weeds.
Chapter 8: Meaning And Life Purpose pg. 68
Love is meant to be shared, not kept within ourselves or the four walls of our home. No matter what age or skill level you are, there are numerous opportunities in our own communities which will allow us to nurture the circle of giving and receiving.
Chapter 9: Overcoming Fear Of Death pg. 77
Death is only the finality of physical life as we know it. Spirit lives on. When we view our or a loved ones passing from one plane of existence to the next with this understanding, fear and grief will lead the way to a greater place of acceptance.
Chapter 10: Good Body Care pg. 85
A healthy body is just as important as a pure mind and spirit. Let’s explore some Eastern and Western techniques which you can easily practice in the home. Discussing Ayurvedic practices as regular use of bowel, intestinal and nasal cleansing, and the positive benefits of regular blood donation. Homeopathic remedies include detoxifying herbs for tea, the importance of exercise, sweating, and a suitable vitamin and mineral regimen.
Chapter 11: The Power Of Prayer pg. 95
Through prayer we may have access to God. Learn how to pray more effectually, why prayers are sometimes not answered, and how daily prayer can draw you nearer to God, thus, bring more peace and joy in to your life.
Chapter 12: Meditation pg. 99
Meditation can take many shapes and forms, and is not exclusive to those types practiced in Eastern civilizations. By utilizing my “Nature“, “Ocean,” or “Warmth Of God” meditations, stress, worry and all forms of negativity can be released, leaving you refreshed and at peace.
Chapter 13: Be Prepared pg. 103
Learn how to keep watch over the foundation of your marriage, so that it will be affair-proof. If you think it can’t happen to you, that is when the adversary knows there is an unguarded fortress.
Chapter 14: Joy In Marriage pg. 104
Long-term marriages go through stages, and each has certain rewards. Learn how to divorce-proof your marriage by fixing those facets of it which may have been broken. Marital surrender means mutually making it work at all cost.
Chapter 15: Can We Talk? Pg. 113
Your spouse is not a mind-reader, thus, we must learn how to improve our level of communication so that both husband and wife can get their needs met. By being willing to communicate and create, the marriage you both desire can be yours. Discussing why spouses sometimes stray.
Chapter 16: Make It Happen pg. 121
It is never too late to enhance your marriage by creating the moments you need and desire. Learn successful approaches that won’t scare your spouse off, and will add to increased levels of romance and passion.
Chapter 17: Different, Yet Similar pg. 124
In some ways men and women are alike, but in others we are uniquely different. Improve your understanding of what your spouse is trying to subtly say to you, and use this information to add more joy to your relationship.
Chapter 18: That Three Letter Word pg. 125
Sex is not sinful or a thing of shame. Repressing love is dangerous, however. Learn how to open up and appreciate sexual intimacy in marriage, find out the truth about oral sex, the G-spot, the Yoni massage, vaginal sensation, lubrication, kissing, quickies and sexual feasts, the importance of foreplay, and a few favored positions of the sexually liberated man and woman.
Chapter 19: Sex Isn’t Everything pg. 145
Romantic or sexual attention may offer the illusion of intimacy, but true intimacy is based on trust, openness, honesty, common interests and good communication.
Chapter 20: Creating Special Moments pg. 148
Create time each day, or at least, several times per week, where the two of you can be together for at least 30 minutes to an hour, not as "mommy" or "daddy," or solely, husband and wife, but as lovers. Chapter offers “special moment” suggestions as various types of massage, playing or cooking together, and learning how to give each other the best of ourselves rather than whatever is left over at the end of the day.
Chapter 21: Giving To Get pg. 153
The more we focus on the needs of our partner, rather than on our own desires, the better chance we have of our hungers being automatically met. This includes emotional needs as well.
Chapter 22: My Spouse, My Lover pg. 156
We surrender to God, and to the institution of marriage, and lastly, we must likewise surrender to love itself so that we may be open vessels who are receptive to the bountiful feast life (and marriage) can be. Learn how to see your spouse with new eyes, and to claim love’s good gifts.
Chapter 23: You Are Beautiful pg. 159
The paranoia about how our naked body looks needlessly places huge amounts of undo stress on lovers, making approach difficult, and rejection, frequent. Put the Hollywood version of what is acceptable aside, and see the unique beauty in who you are right now.
Chapter 24: Free To Be Me pg. 163
Possessing a sense of comfort with our genuine self concerns being true to our individual likes and dislikes no matter what others may think. You are not defined by your job or your roles in life. Understand and appreciate what makes you tic so you can fearlessly and joyously exist.
Chapter 25: Me, Jane. You, Tarzan pg. 168
Is the Biblical mandate of husband as head of the home about power trips and dominance? Discussing male and female control freaks, mice and men.
Chapter 26: The Big D pg. 172
No marriage problem is too large that it cannot be healed. However, what do you do when only one partner wants to work, and the other wants to abandon ship? No marriage is perfect because no human is perfect. Complete happiness is not found in divorce either. Divorce is not the response to a marriage in crisis; God is. Divorce is not an unpardonable sin.
Chapter 27: Ecstatic Living Summary pg. 177
A refresher course in ecstatic living. “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” - III John 1:2
Click the link to the top left to Buy The Book!
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